I was enjoying the second week of a two-week vacation the same way I had enjoyed the first week:  by doing as little as possible.

I ignored my wife's not-so-subtle hints about completing certain jobs around the house, but I didn't realize how much this bothered her until the clothes dryer refused to work, the iron shorted, and the sewing machine motor burned out in the middle of a seam.  The final straw came when she plugged in the vacuum cleaner and nothing happened.

She  looked so stricken that I had to offer some consolation.

"That's OK, honey," I said.  "You still have me."

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes.  "Yes," she wailed, "but you don't work either!"