When life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile and very politely say "you hit like a girl!"
Dyslexic
I discovered I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
Future Minister
After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom. I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up."
"That's OK with us," the mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?"
"Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun tostand up and yell than to sit still and listen."